Feeding a Cat Without Magic, Raw Food

After another morning of failing to please my feline with my canned offerings, I have begun to fear for my safety, as most of my relationships with cats until now has involved me avoiding becoming their next meal. I know I am now inside of a mostly human body, but part of me is still pixie, and I am afraid that is she continues to dislike her food, she may realize that that pixie part is indeed here, and she might decide I am tasty.

So, I turned to the Internet, and there discovered an idea about feeding cats and dogs raw food. This makes a lot of sense to me, as until now I have not seen a cat eat anything but raw foods. She is being so picky, it did not really seem to be of any harm to try, though I am a little wary of keeping raw meat on plates in my kitchen. However, the Internet advisors are quite helpful, and the health benefits to the cat seem to be many, so I have decided to try it.

After using my cell phone to call several animal supply stores that are within my radius, I found one called the Dog’s Meow, which is a most confusing name indeed, and they said they can help me feed my cat a raw diet, and explained that it really is the healthiest thing for her.

Healthy is great, but I’m mostly interested in her not eating me, thank you very much. They said she would probably take to eating raw food very easily. It seemed the girl on the phone believed I was joking, which actually may be a good thing. I have noticed my perception of how things work is not the same as the humans around me, and I might be found too odd if everything I said was taken seriously.

It is getting quite warm here, probably close to summer, though it is hard to know for sure without the festival season. Has it happened yet? Tell me all about it if anyone knows, I do so enjoy a good festival.

But, yes, feeding.

I put on another small shift because it is pleasant to wear in the heat, and some sandals and walked the short way to the pet food store. I passed by the small grocery store, and I waved to Ryan, but for some reason my throat closed up and my face felt too hot for me to go in and talk to him. Perhaps another one of those allergies I seem to have? I decided I should wait until I was able to speak without feeling funny, and so I kept walking to the pet food store.

There, the woman I’d spoken to on the phone greeted me. She has dyed hair – how funny humans dye their hair natural shades. We pixies normally have pinks and purples and blues and all kinds of colors in our hair, but humans are limited to the colors of dirt, earth, and sun. I myself now have pale yellow hair, and though I miss the blue it is funny to have such a different color. If I were to go to the effort of changing the color of my hair, I would choose a color that cannot happen naturally for humans, yet they seem to prefer to stay within the confines of their natural spectrum. Pity.

She led me to several large freezers that we’re filled with several kinds of pre-prepared and balanced cat foods, all from different kinds of meats and with different things added, but she assured me that they all had the nutrients cats need to stay healthy (apparently, cats need a very specific and boring list of things that can be removed from their food when it is cooked) . She also told me about all kinds of additions I could put in with the food, and after more research (I am beyond sick of research) I have decided upon a few things to try adding to see what happens, but this will happen later, and I will update this post as I try them.

I bought some beef kind, since beef are large animals and I thought maybe fewer would have to die to satisfy my cat over time, and some fish oil (does one press fish to get oil like with olives, or is it some other way?), and then a little catnip plant because the woman insisted that cats love the stuff. She also advised me to grow the cat some grass to eat.

I mean, if anyone is getting grass grown for them to eat, it ought to be me.

I paid for the food and walked home. This time, just getting close to the small shop made me feel that allergy come on, but I walked past again and hovered in the door a minute. I mumbled about my new house cat through the odd lump-like feeling in my throat and Ryan told me he likes cats, which is odd but probably a good thing. I excused myself before the allergy could make me do something strange, telling him the meat in my bag might melt, then went home feeling odd and still flushed, perhaps it was from showing too much skin in the heat. Luckily, my neighbors were too busy yelling inside of the house to bother me more. I wanted to get the cat fed as soon as possible.

How to feed a cat raw food:

You will need:

  • A cat
  • Raw food prepared to the specific needs of the animals. I chose a brand called instinct, but another that was recommended was called rad cat.
  • Warm water for defrosting
  • Warm water to mix in the food
  • Any food supplements you choose to add – these include raw egg yolk (never use the clear part they call whites, they are bad for animals), fish oil, and some powders and things you can buy. For now, I want to begin with the food as it is simplest.
  • A fork to mix the food and water
  • A container to store the prepared food

Thaw a small portion of food in warm water. If it is unwrapped then just use warm water and mix it with the food as it melts. If you chose some that is in a container, thaw it with a bowl of water. Or if aren’t in as large of a hurry as I am, then I suppose you can thaw it in the refrigerator.

Mix the thawed food with water until it is a fairly thin consistency, the woman from the shop said “like grits” but I have to guess, because I cannot imagine what grits might be. A bowl of muddy sand, maybe? I did decide to add some of the fish oil at this point, because cats like fish and I thought she might like it.

Offer only a little at first. Changing an animal’s diet too quickly can upset their stomach. I was reckless in my anxiety to not be eaten, so I threw this bit of caution to the wind, but I imagine it is better to be cautious and go slow.

Stand back and watch the cat sniff the food, weigh if she wants to eat it, then try some, wander away, come back, and then decide to eat it in earnest.

Sigh in relief.

I think it’s probably good to offer this in small amounts if you can, but some of the websites recommend feeding twice. I am sure your animal will educate you as to what works best for her.

Make sure to store the rest of the food in refrigerator. It would probably spoil if left on the counter and the cat would reject it.

So that is raw food. She seems to like it much better than the canned stuff, and now I can relax and get to planning my next endeavor in cleaning my house. I cannot help but look at it now as if it were going to be seen by him, particularly my bed, which is most disturbing, and a little exciting.

Also, I believe I have found a solution to my backyard weed problem. I will report on this soon.

(1,355 words)


How to Feed A Cat Without Magic

Well, the Council of Magical Affairs has been gracious in their wisdom and have given me quite a strange companion. I have awoken this morning to a new house mate. A cat.

I am unsure of their motivations. Did they worry I might get lonely, as it is certainly a long time before I am approved for common human contact away from my hovel? Did they somehow coerce the cat to keep track of me? That bit is hard to believe, as cats are notoriously unbeholden to anyone for any reason ever.

And now I am sharing a dwelling with one.

As many of you are aware, pixies and cats have a tense history, what with their propensity to chase us and hold us down while their young chew on our wings. They are also very sharp, not only in the intelligence sense but in the claws and teeth sense, which makes me tense. Very tense. Every time the little fuzzy thing opens her mouth to yawn, I jump in case I actually need to run.

And of course, she is quite affectionate. She rubs against my legs as I walk in an attempt to trip me, perhaps, while I walk, and when I sit down to write, she likes to lay next to me and does that forward and back motion with her front paws that seems to mean pleasure, since she rumbles when I find the courage to pet her head. (Flora has told me that the paw thing is called kneading, and the rumbling is purring, and yes both of them mean she is happy, she also adds that I am a stupid glitter winged biddy.)

Anyway, I woke up to her. She was looking at me fiercely in the face from the space next to my pillow. When I opened my eyes, she meowed and ran out to the kitchen, where I discovered all the supplies I might need to care for her, including the box filled with special sand for her to use as a toilet, and she already had.

I do not know why, again, she is here, she seems to have some idea, but is not inclined to tell me, of course. Because she is a cat that’s why. I am sure she is able to talk to me still even without my magical abilities. But I suspect she enjoys my confusion. And my fear. She is sharpening her claws on the carpet-coved pole I found in my living room after I made my morning tea, and I simply cannot help but squeak in horror when she pounces on it and then runs away, as if she is practicing killing something. I know my sounds of fear are making her laugh. I just know. And I am sure the Council, if they are somehow watching me, are laughing as well.

The little pink tag that was hanging around her neck on a collar says “Jezebel”. Well, it did, but she seems to have lost it already.

We have only been together this day so far. Much of it has been spent with us staring at one another, her discontented with my ineptitude, and me unsure about which things I am inept. Aside from owning a cat, I suppose.

Because this is a guide for the magic less pixie, I suppose I will take advantage of this new development and write a brief how-to.


How to feed a cat:

You will need:

  • A cat
  • Bowls – I have one small cat dish, but I recommend having more than one to begin with. Read on and see why.
  • Assorted favors of tinned cat food
  • A spoon
  • Paper and a pen

Now, were I back home in the Realms with my magic at hand, I would simply conjure some whisky to trade to the Pied Piper and get him to fetch me a few rats, maybe. Or maybe I could sing in a few mice or birds as prey, or even convince the cat that my neighbors were far tastier than I and then run away until the cat was full. Of course, in the Realms I am a pixie, and might already be eaten by the cat, which in a morbid way would mean I had successfully managed to feed her after all.

But no matter.

Start with choosing a random can of food and open it. Wait for the cat to come trotting in expectantly, and she will sit and look up with hope other eyes. Feel an odd sense of wanting to please the cat, then scoop out some food into a bowl one offer it to her by setting it on the floor.

Watch with sinking feelings as she sniffs the food a little, then comes back to her sitting position, paws together, looking up at you with an expectant look that surely you do not want her to eat that.

Of course you don’t. How silly of you.

Open another can. Put it in the next bowl. Offer this to the cat next to the first dish on the floor.

Watch with dismay as she disdainfully sniffs that bowl, then yawns and looks at you again.

Repeat this process until all the flavors are open and offered to the cat. Watch with confusion when she goes back to the first bowl and eats everything you gave her.

She will wash her face by licking her paw, then rubbing it back along her whiskers and ears and such. If she has been pleased with your offering, she will wash her face.

If she is displeased, then she will maybe lick her lips and saunter away, obviously disappointed at how poorly you are at caring for her.

Feel vaguely confused at how much you want to please her. Follow her and proffer the herb catnip as a gesture that you will try better in the future.

I suggest starting a list of what foods she likes. It may pay off in the long run.


In other news, I called that Ryan boy and told him how pleased I am with the potato I cooked with his recipe. He asked if I had tried cooking the meat yet, and I said no, I really have no idea how. He thought that a funny and told me he ought to come over some night and give me cooking lessons. And for all the pixie dust I said sometime he ought to. Now, I am panicking and looking around my house at how much needs to be cleaned and sorted out before I could ever dream of having a boy over.

Then, I panic that I am panicking about a human boy in my house. Surely I am not being influenced by this human world so soon? I have an elf back home after all! If I ever get home, that is. No harm in having him over just to help me with my responsibilities in reporting on how to live without magic, yes? Maybe he knows something about how to please cats. I should ask him when I go by his shop for cat food tomorrow.

Oh, and the lady neighbor came by again and told me that the weeds out in my back yard are making her sneeze. I asked her if that is what causes sneezing, because I have been doing a lot of it too. She did not think this was funny, even though I did not mean to be. Then she told me to clean the back yard up “or else”. Or else what, I did not get to ask, because she turned in a way that made her hair flick in back of her and walked back to her house all straight-backed and angry seeming. I wonder if she is always like this, or if she is simply easily perturbed by overgrown yards.

I will have to research how to clear weeds as soon as I can, of course. But I also have a messy house to clean in case Ryan was not joking about coming to assist me.

Humans seem to put a lot of stock in clean houses. And mine has become harder to keep that way what with this cat laying on things and leaving hair behind on all of it.

Oh, we’ll. Just more things to keep me busy not escaping. Good night, everyone. Pleasant dreams.

(1,380 words)